We rack likes up like they’re club card points, aching for approval with every Instagram upload. Craving the commendation of others, whether we’d like to admit it or not - our lives revolve around it. Every notification is like another long hard sniff of this instant drug, reeling us back in, as we desperately tap that little icon to see who’s liked our latest production or witty one liner. I’ve seen a lot of people speak up about this recently, preaching a ‘judgement free’ lifestyle in a bid for more self care and less self obsession. But what does a ‘judgement free’ life really look like?
Whilst I wholesomely agree that self worth shouldn’t be defined by how many likes our Instagram pictures get, it’s easy to see how we perpetuate this cycle. Your Social Media should be an embodiment of you, your vision, your lifestyle and what you’ve got to show the world - not what you think the world wants to see.
When it comes to judgement, it can actually be a useful tool to help us make informed decisions about who we follow and why we follow them. Detoxing our feeds of people that make us feel ‘unworthy’ or ‘unattractive’. Taking away the pressure that it’s a competitive space and approaching it more as a celebratory space. A place where we can be inspired by other men and women for the right reasons. One of my favourite expressions at the moment is “your vibe attracts your tribe” - this couldn’t be more true when it comes to Social Media. But why do we fill our feeds with people that are so opposite to us, allowing them to serve as a constant reminder at how shit and boring our lives are? We’ve all been there, balls deep in chocolate buttons scrolling down our feed when we see the latest snap from a Victoria’s Secret model. But how does that make you feel? It makes me feel like a 40 tonne whale. So I decided to approach my feed a little differently. I began consciously unfollowing on the spot posts that appeared in my feed which didn’t make me feel something positive. Anything which provoked a negative emotional reaction, I unfollowed. The result? A much happier feed, with a much more positive vibe. A vibe in line with how I feel as a person, exchanging inadequacy for inspiration. Let’s be honest, nothing feels better than finally unfollowing Jenny with the perfect brows that hasn’t had a bad hair day in 10,000 years. Who knew real life unsubscribing could be so liberating?
Let’s go back to the Victoria's Secret model who made me feel like I wasn’t living my best life. I began to actually see past her luscious limbs and read her captions. As a result, I loved what she had to say - they inspired me, motivated me and before I knew it I was more interested in how she stays balanced during her hectic schedule than I was about her gaping thigh gap.
My advice, exercise your adult ability to unsubscribe a little more liberally. Don’t pressure yourself with a “judgement free” detox, just start to think how what you consume makes you feel. There’s a difference between following someone that challenges you, and following someone that makes you feel like you’re always 100 miles south of the cool crew. I'm on a mission to encourage and empower people to rethink who they follow and why they follow them, decluttering the negativity and focusing on filling your feed with things that make you feel good.